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Sometimes we get hungry. Sometimes we have a specific craving for Girl Scout Cookies. Sometimes it’s Denny’s yummy maple syrup. Sometimes those cravings can get you killed… or at least slapped with a sign and popped with a pancake. What am I talking about? Glad you asked.

In recent news, a 400-pound Florida woman attacked her roommate after discovering that this roommate demolished her Thin Mints; another slightly smaller woman in a Chicopee, Mass., Denny’s walloped the heck out of someone when asked to borrow the syrup off her table. She replied with, “B*tch, your pancakes look fine to me,” and all hell literally broke loose.

Look, I like Thin Mints; sign me up for a few boxes. And while I prefer IHOP, I, too, have had a couple tasty treats from random Denny’s restaurants across America, but in the words of every ‘Grey’s Anatomy‘ character: “Seriously? I mean… SERIOUSLY.” Are these chicks kidding? I cannot fathom for even a second why snapping like a slap bracelet seemed like a positive choice in either of these incidents.

Here’s what happens when things don’t go according to the regularly scheduled programming of planet earth and life – oh wait, things hardly ever go according to plan! People literally make a habit of coming up with plans B, C, D and all the way down to Z, then start back at the top with plan AA, BB, CC and so on, because that’s how life goes. If we all walked around slapping each other because we wanted that last slice of pizza, could you imagine what war would be like?

Full story here

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