The importance of sex differs from relationship to relationship. Some couples save their cookies for marriage and others try before they buy. Which have you done in your relationship and did you regret it? Did sex change things between you? Did you have sex too soon? Have you ever had a horrible sexual experience which made you completely change your perspective on the person that you are with? Did you kick them to the curb JUST because they didn’t perform extraordinarily in the sack? Did you regret this decision later on once you learned they were actually the right person for you? All of these questions I have been asking lately. We are going to get down to the nitty gritty of this subject.
Is Sex A Deal Breaker In A Relationship?
When you ask someone this question the natural response from a level headed person tends to be “well, it shouldn’t be.” Although this is true, a lot of people make sex a priority before they even got into a relationship in the first place, so once they decide to commit, sex is important by default. The issue with this is that you’re not focusing on the important traits in a person such as personality, humility, honesty, loyalty etc etc. This is such a sex driven culture that it’s hard to get away from getting to know the person before the body first, but if we would begin doing this, relationships would last a lot longer.
Let’s look at virgin couples. Naturally they grew up in an overly religious family. It’s rare for BOTH parties in a couple to be virgins but it happens. Their marriages are proven to last longer only because they base their relationship on how they feel about each other. They have zero other people to base their sexual experience off of so they wouldn’t know either way if their sex was considerably “bad”.
Although marriage shouldn’t be about sex, you do need sex to keep the flame alive. According to married couples I have talked to this about, they like to incorporate anything they possibly can to keep it exciting. If you’re not catching my drift I mean “toys”. These same couples said that the sex DOES in fact get better the longer your marriage goes on. Most couples do try before they buy, so that they know what they’re getting themselves into. Their marriages don’t always last as long as the virgin couples because like I said before….the relationship was based off of relations.
Now my question is, when you are getting to know someone and you enjoy their company, like who they are and are considering getting into a relationship with them…is sex a deal breaker? When you finally decide to take it to that level and it happens to be horrible, do you cut it off with them?
Is Sex More Important Than Love?
My personal opinion is that you shouldn’t value sex over love. If you do this, you will never find someone who treats you how you deserve. You are putting a physical activity on a pedi-stool instead of yourself. Once you begin to dig deep into the way a person thinks and acts you will not only learn about them but also yourself. Give yourself a chance to get to know the other person before indulging in sex. I am not saying wait until marriage but at least wait until you know if you can even stand them on a daily basis. You may learn that they annoy the hell out of you and you cannot stand their very existence.
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