Many women equate loving a man with giving, submitting to and pleasing. Some women seem as though they have an endless supply of love to give to others, but little to give to themselves. A woman’s identity sometimes becomes too dependent on proving her love, while a man’s identity is more defined by how well he provides. But how much is too much love? It’s imperative that a successful relationship be based on trust, communication, love, and compromise. Sometime women become such “people pleasers,” even in their relationships, that they lose sight of their own goals and ambitions. If this sounds familiar, take a look at these 8 signs that signify you might be sacrificing too much in your relationship, and it may be time to reevaluate your role.
1. You do too much for him
If your man is grumbling, seems distant, and uncommunicative it’s not necessarily your job, to jump up and start catering to his needs. Fluffing his pillow or spending hours in the kitchen fixing his favorite meal won’t cure his issues. Doing “everything” for him assumes he is a cripple and is demeaning and will soon turn you into his mother instead of lover. Women often feel overly responsible for their man’s needs and moods, thinking that they in someway caused them. In their eyes, they must have done something wrong to cause him to be upset, or distant. If this is happening in your relationship, you have doomed yourself as a maid, not a girlfriend.
2. Keep him on a pedestal
For centuries, women have been trained and conditioned to believe a man’s intelligence is superior to their own. This belief is difficult to shake even for the most accomplished woman. If you are the type to put your guy on a pedestal, thinking he is more intelligent, capable and ultimately more important, all that admiration will make you look pathetic. Most likely smothering him with attention and thinking of him as an immortal being will only inflate his ego and diminish whatever self worth you have left.
3. Sacrifice your social circle
The worst thing a woman can do is to start rejecting time with her friends because of fear of what her man might think. Whether she thinks he will miss her, can’t fend for himself, or he doesn’t want her to spend time with her friends, this type of isolation is deadly in the long run. If you tend to only contact friends when your man isn’t home or hang up the phone abruptly when he comes through the door, your friends are probably annoyed by your rude behavior. A woman’s friendships outside of her relationship feed and reward her. And in times when things aren’t running smoothly in her relationship, good friends offer support and advice. Cutting yourself off from this support system might lead to resentment and ultimately a very unhealthy relationship.
4. You focus on his goals, not yours
Abandoning your goals because you believe your partner’s goals are more important in the end will smother your hopes for personal fulfillment. Maybe the reason why you sacrifice your goals to encourage his is because you believe he deserves success more than you or because deep inside you don’t believe in yourself. If you put your personal goals on the back burner too long, your dreams will simmer away.
Read More “You Might Be “Too Much In Love” On: MadameNoire
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