Are you about to take the plunge into wedding bliss? Do you think you’ve found your soul mate and ready to live happily ever after? Many marriage education experts actually caution that when couples believe in the myths of “happily-ever-after” or “love conquers all,” problems in the marital relationship may surface within a short time after the wedding. The success or failure of your marriage may hinge on how well you deal with issues such as finances, sexuality and communication. Even though you may be very busy with wedding preparations, it is critical that you make time to prepare for your lifetime together by exploring your relationship in more depth.
Take a look at these 7 questions you should answer with your fiancé to ensure you have a solid foundation before vows are exchanged…
1. Why are we getting married?
The primary motive for getting married is because you love each other and want to be together, but each of you may have other reasons for wanting to wed, other needs that you have to fulfill if the marriage is going to work. Your partner’s reasons for marrying may not fit with yours. If you’re feeling angry or upset you need to talk the issue through. A common difference is one partner marrying as a sign of commitment but the other partner marrying because he or she wants children. The aim of this exercise is to get to a point where you understand, appreciate and respect each others motives, even if they differ. Why are we getting married? Why am I asking this person to marry me? Pregnancy, financial security are some of the worst reasons to marry and getting married for the wrong reasons can quickly lead to feelings of disappointment, resentment and divorce.
2. What are my expectations?
Have you fully considered and discussed everything involved with preparing for marriage? Marriage expectations can either make or break a marriage. False expectations, believing in the myths about marriage, thinking that someone else can or will make you happy, trying to read each other’s mind, losing yourself to the other person, wanting to do everything together, and wanting to have a “perfect marriage” will put you on the fast track to unhappiness and disappointment in marriage.
3. How will I deal with my in-laws?
Does your fiancé’s family and friends like you? What do you like and dislike about each other’s family? How much time will you spend with in-laws? How much involvement will family members or parents have in decision-making? Dealing with in-laws can be very difficult. Extra stress can arise in your marriage because of conflicts and arguments with toxic family members over where holidays and special occasions will be spent or disagreements over how grandchildren should be raised or disciplined. Be sure to be on the same page on this one. People tend to be very defensive when it comes to their family, so dealing with the issue open and honestly now, will help save you time and energy in arguments later.
Read More “Don’t Wait Till After Your Wedding” On: MadameNoire