Believe it or not, life is real and not a fairytale. All over the world blended families are living happily and co-existing harmoniously. Ideally, we’d love to hear that everyone just “clicked’ immediately but I’m sure we all know or have been involved in some incidents that didn’t go so smoothly. Change can sometimes be a challenge but its possible. How can we make the transition better? When you see celebrity couples like Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith speak about how their blended family exists, doesn’t that make you feel like you can too? Here’s 3 ways that may help you or someone you know make a better transition with their blended families.
1. You have time: It’s vital for you to remember that love doesn’t develop overnight. Instead, within a healthy blended family love develops over time. In your adult relationship, you needed time to for your relationship to develop. There were months or years in between you meeting, dating, falling in love, being engaged and getting married. Even if your children were a large part of the relationship from the beginning, you may have to start the cycle over again after getting remarried. Children need time to develop lasting relationships. So, it’s important not to rush them in the process. Most children will develop feelings of love and attachment to their step-parent, over time, if the parent is patient and loving to them.
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2.Dealing with new authority: Sometimes a new blended family brings on resentment from children when they realize they must answer to another adult. Many children will state, “You’re not my father so you can’t tell me what to do!” It is very difficult to treat someone else’s child with the same understanding you’d show your own. So, there may be some truth in the matter a child feels they’re being treated unfairly by a step-parent. In fact, sometimes a step-parent is less objective of their own children. They may be more critical of step-children. Most step-parents are only trying to be good parents; however step-children can become defensive if they feel judged. Learning to deal with this struggle is vital and requires patience on the part of all people involved.