I’ve been writing long enough to know that saying anything bad about Beyonce might get you Google mapped and jumped outside of your front door. But despite all of the various things I write about on a daily basis, no topic garners hate mail, threatening tweets, and evil comments like saying something unflattering about somebody’s favorite celebrity.
The other day I was checking my mentions on Twitter and I saw someone had uploaded a twitpic of me with the words, “The [terrible] face of a hater and fake journalist.” I was super confused trying to figure out what I’d done to warrant that comment then I saw I had another mention from someone else which, cleaned up, essentially said eff me and my sorry writing, they wrote better essays than me in the fourth grade. Immediately I started thinking about what I had written that day and I thought, oh no, I’ve pissed off the gay community with the article on the race baiting issue and NOM. But then there, in the midst of all the f*** yous, and b****es and c***s I was called I found the answer to my confusion in a simple little hashtag: #TeamLilKim
I almost fell out on the floor thinking about how hard these people were going when all I’d done was ask whether Kim’s “new look” on her “Keys to the City” album would affect her comeback and the loyalty of her fans. Judging by my mentions, it will not. As I laughed about #TeamLilKim I remembered that there was only one other time when readers went off on me like that on Twitter. It was when I wrote something they didn’t like about Brandy, and that’s when I concluded people go way too hard for celebrities.
I’ll admit I’ve had my moments. There are really only two celebrities who despite their ratchet craziness I’ll pretty much defend to the death—Mariah Carey and Young Jeezy (don’t judge). However, my loyalty only goes about as far as me refusing to pyrate their music and letting people know I don’t care what they say about Mariah Carey and her young husband, and her skimpy outfits, and her temporary meltdown, no one is touching her vocally. Now will you catch me Internet thugging and calling somebody out their name over her? Heck naw. As I looked at my hate mail the other day I thought, this must be how Karrueche and Amber Rose feel. To be honest when I read Karrueche was scared to leave the house because of Rihanna’s fans and saw Amber Rose crying over Kanye’s die-hards I thought they were exaggerating, but now I feel like saying step your security up girl, folks is cray.
Just in case you happen to be one of these people I’m talking about who finds their blood boiling and their heart racing anytime someone tries to tell you your favorite singer isn’t as fabulous as you know he or she is, here are four things to remember:
Celebrity Tattoo Design
They Don’t Care About You
I know the way celebrities get on stage accepting their awards and crying about how they do it for the fans sounds so genuine, but newsflash, it’s not. It’s for the money that’s in their fans’ wallets, you just happen to be in between them and the cash so they have to keep you somewhat happy.
You Don’t Really Know Them
I’ve had to check myself on this one when I find myself talking about a celebrity like I was really there to see who dunnit, knowing good and well I read whatever fact I was talking about online like everybody else. I know you’ve memorized every quote your favorite celeb has said and can run off a list of things you know they would never say or do, but let’s be real here. We know as much about these people as they want us to know.