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Couple meditating on the beach

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The melee started, it seems, with a meme. The photo was of an innocuous scene, one that many are anticipating this Memorial Day weekend: hamburgers and hot dogs on a grill. It was the caption that set everything off.

It read: “Soooo you are at a barbecue. Your man is hungry. He lets you know he is hungry, but you are not the kind of woman to go around fixing plates for a man, so you ignore him. A random woman hears this and says, ‘I will fix his plate.’ She sashays away and comes back with a plate for your man. Do you have any problems with this?”

The answer should have been simple: Yes, this is a problem. One, why is a hungry, fully functional grown man acting incapable of fixing his own plate? Two, why is he acting like his plate is his woman’s job to tend to? Three, who is this crazy woman who doesn’t know him or me from Adam and Eve, who takes it upon herself to do something as intimate as fix his plate?

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Discussion: The Problem With The Debate Over Fixing Your Man’s Plate  was originally published on