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After coming across an episode of Dr.Phil the other day titled “Inside the mind of a mistress” I became intrigued and watched the whole thing.  Lately, I have been feeling troubled with the idea of this. I am going to let you into my life a little, use my own personal stories and hopefully with that be able to help anyone who has cheated, thought about cheating or has been cheated on.

In the year 2011 cheating has become a normality.  Many people do not value commitment.  They believe that if you are not married then you are not fully tied down, but how can you expect you have a long lasting committed relationship if you do not begin this way?   This is one of the reasons marriages do not last.  If you do not value commitment in the baby stages of your relationship, it is not going to change with some papers. Marriage is supposed to be a trusting relationship between two people.  These days, trust is the main issue which causes divorce.  One secret becomes a million secrets and the foundation of that relationship quickly crumbles.

Now, I understand everyone has their own opinion on what causes someone to cheat.  I personally believe it is simple.  If you have ever been cheated on, it is not your fault per se.  We all make choices every single day, whether it is what to wear, what to eat or our attitudes.  He/She had a decision to make and they decided to cheat.  That is not YOUR fault.  There is never an excuse to cheat on someone.  It is easier to break up with that person and do your dirt the moral way.  You may be hurting that person, but in the long run you are helping them.  By cheating you are proving that you are completely selfish.

I have never been cheated on, because I have never had a boyfriend.  Now, don’t let this change your mind on my credibility to give advice because I learn from every other persons mistakes.  But, I will say that I have had my share of experience in the Married man department.  Now, I know what you’re thinking “Oh boy, she’s a home wrecker”.  No no no, I have never and will never engage in adultry. I have been a magnet for married men.  I am not sure what it is, but married men love me.  Once I find out a man is married or has a girlfriend  and is trying to hit on me, I become completely disgusted.  My stance on this subject is a strong one.  If a man/woman is worth your time, he/she will want only you.  They will focus primarily on you, pursue only you and not have any prior engagements.   There is no such thing as “having a back up plan”. Back up plans are only a set up for a set back. That married man/woman may look good to you and seem to have the whole package but have a little respect for their husband/wife and more importantly…yourself.

If you are sitting on your computer right now reading this and thinking “well, I haven’t cheated yet but I’ve thought about it..and I might”. Don’t feel alone, because there are many people just like you who feel the same way.  Not all relationships work and everyone knows this.  The main focus here is to find out if you two are going to work BEFORE you cheat.  You cannot expect your sexual escapade with your mistress/mantress to help you see more clearly, because by then you have already done the damage.  If lust is more powerful than your love for your boyfriend/girlfriend, then break it to them gently.  If you are simply unsatisfied, try to work it out.  Go see couples counseling or a take trip to ambiance.  There ARE ways to fix things before they are completely broken.  Just do not, and I repeat, DO NOT resort to cheating.  This will only make things worse.

Just remember, the grass is not always greener on the other side.

Stay Classy Cleveland:)

Your Official WZAK Blogger: Michaela Whipple

“I dream. I create. I sing. I love people. I don’t see color, I see through stereotypes. I am a Single White Female, Addicted to Detail”  Follow Me On: