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While O.J. Simpson’s confession to murdering his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ronald Goldman in 1994 remains alleged, there are quite a number of reasons to suggest he’s as guilty as Sarah Palin has no chance at becoming the president of the United States.

Here are five reasons we know O.J. did it:

1. DNA — The prosecution of Simpson’s case presented compelling DNA evidence, including matching bloody footprints, hair follicles and a glove found near Simpson’s home containing blood that tested positive to the blood of Goldman. Blood was also found in Simpson’s Ford Bronco near the driver’s outside door handle. Other blood samples were smeared inside on the console, door, steering wheel and carpeting. DNA tests showed some of the blood consisted of a mixture of Simpson’s genetic markers and the victims.

Try explaining that one O.J.

2. THE INFAMOUS CAR CHASE — On the day of his arrest, the LAPD chased Simpson in his white Bronco for hours. To top it off, the spectacle was all caught on tape. What fool in his right mind would run from the police if he’s “innocent?”

3. CHANGE OF ALIBI — O.J.’s initial alibi was that he was asleep at the time of the murder. His defense later changed that alibi with a series of stories, one of which claiming he was hitting golf balls outside his home. Simpson’s defense also claimed a neighbor’s housekeeper, Rosa Lopez, saw his car parked outside the home. However, Lopez later confessed during cross-examination that she could not be precisely sure whether or not his Bronco was outside the home.

4. MOTIVE — According to the prosecution, Simpson had plenty motive for killing his ex-wife. Simpson was reportedly prone to jealous rages (evidenced by taped 911 calls from Nicole herself), including allegedly hitting, stalking, and degrading her — all signs that he was quite capable of murder.

5. THE “IF I DID IT” BOOK — There’s no greater way to say “I’m guilty” than to publish a book detailing how you would hypothetically do it, all in the name of profit. An excerpt from the book reads:

“If I had actually done it… I would have brought my good gloves that day. I would have thought it was shame they shrunk when I left them out on the patio, but I would have brought them just the same. They were my lucky gloves, and I would have needed them cause I was going to stab my slut of a wife… hypothetically.”

If that’s not suspect, we don’t know what is.


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