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A lot of people are not going to like what I have to say, but let me start by saying this These words come from a man who has seen too many black men grow up to become irresponsible, self-absorbed, excessively entitled, weak men, largely because they were coddled at home. This does not always happen at the hands of a single mother, but it almost always occurs due to parents who do not understand their role in raising intelligent and responsible human beings. Let’s be clear: If you raise your son to be a boy, he’s going to remain a boy. Typically, strong male role models make it easier to build manhood, mothers cannot usually do it alone.

This is a comedic exaggeration, but perhaps we can think while we laugh. Even if you get mad at me for saying this, you can’t pretend like this doesn’t happen a bit too much. So, if you want your son to grow up to be a horrible father and husband for somebody else, here are a few things you can do:

1) Never make him accountable: If he goes to jail, mortgage your house to pay for the attorney. If he gets fired from his fourth job in a row, of course it’s because he’s black. Anything that goes wrong in his life, explain to him why none of it is ever his fault. Make a long list of excuses for everything he does. If he gets in trouble at school, it’s the teacher’s fault. If he has an angry outburst and attacks someone, it’s because he had too much sugar. Remember: Nothing that he ever does wrong, to anyone, at any time, is ever his fault. Jesus will make him better eventually.

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Discussion: A Message To Single Mothers Raising Boys  was originally published on