If your man is all the friend you need, then try explaining to him why taking off your bra at the threshold feels like OOHWEE! then wonder why he says, “Like peeing in the snow?”
We can’t know everything the other is feeling. We’re not psychologically, physiologically or, in this case, biologically equipped to do so. You can try peeing in the snow to disprove me if you want to but, you’re still going to wish you had a good girl-friend to hand you a leaf when you’re done.
Your husband is your primary friend and emotional support, as he should be, but he can’t be your everything. Surprise – you are not his either! Friendships outside of your marriage are fine. In fact, they are healthy for and beneficial to your marriage.
For example, you ask:
“Does this dress make me look fat?”
Husband – “Pshaw. NO WAY!”
Girlfriend – “I can’t tell because the color is BLINDING!”
Who wants to know their man is a bold-faced liar?
Girlfriends keep us connected to ourselves. For an hour, or a whirlwind shopping spree, or a soul cleansing talk over lunch, they allow you to be the YOU he met when you were single – probably, kickin’ it with your girls!
Girlfriends keep us on our toes. In all her bluntness, ‘What’s with the mom jeans?’ or ‘There are no words for that husk on your heels.’ your girl is saying I love you and reminding you to love yourself.
Girlfriends remind us to get around to whatever we told her we were going to do the last time we got together. ‘Whatever happened with your plans to —?’ Either by encouragement or their kick-in-the-pants honesty, we are pushed to stay on track.
Now, here is where this can get tricky. Don’t expect your friend to hold your hand on a daily basis. We are, after all, grown women. My mother has said too, ‘Everybody ain’t your friend.’ If it’s you and your husband’s business that keeps her nose open, then regard her friendship as for entertainment purposes only, because a ‘good girlfriend’ will also take your man. That’s a little deep so I trust you know the difference.
All in all, a friendship independent of your marriage should:
Enrich your spirit.
Be a comfort to your soul.
Encourage your dreams.
Reinforce your identity.
Understand and support your commitment.
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