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There is no right or wrong level of neediness. The right man is out there for you—the one who is ready to meet your needs. The trouble is that, many women don’t date that man. In every relationship, there is one person who is more invested than the other. That’s normal. But, if you think about your friends, you can probably name multiple relationships in which one person is heavily more invested in the relationship, and you feel sorry for them. You feel sorry for them because they are always the one waiting for the call back, they are always the one making plans for the couple, they are the one keeping the couple in mind with every decision they make, while the other person just pops in and out when they feel like it. You don’t want to be in a relationship like that—whether you’re the needy one or not. So, figure out what level of neediness you are—be aware of it—so you can determine if a man will be able to meet your needs.

The pre-mature housewife

As soon as the relationship is official, you practically move in. You secure a key to his house. You buy him groceries. You make plans for the two of you—RSVP to events as a couple, book airline tickets—without consulting him first. You call the doctor for him when he complains of a sore throat. Some men love this. They love to be taken care of and there is no such thing as too soon for them. But for some men, this cues the music from the Scream movies. If you see a guy’s jaw drop slightly or you can see the entire white’s of his eyes when he finds you’ve cleaned his whole house, it may be too soon for him.

The doter

You don’t completely take the reigns like the pre-mature housewife but, to an extent, your life revolves around your guy. You do not RSVP you and your man to an event unless you know he can make it. Why? Because if he isn’t going, you’re not going either. If his parents insist that he come home for the holidays, and your parents extend an invite as well, your parents will just have to wait until next year. You do not make plans ever without keeping your guy in mind.

The new best friend

You used to have a surrogate boyfriend in the form of a best friend. You would text her every funny thing that happened all day. You would instant message her from work, complaining about the day, rehashing every little detail. If anything went wrong, you called her immediately to vent or cry about it. Now, you do that with your man.  Your best friend before was really just a place-holder.

For the Next 3 Levels Read On: Madame Noire

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